Repeat the cry of your heart

Chatting with SIR KNIGHT!

2008-03-31T23:29:00.000-07:00

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:33:44 PM): http://repeatthecryofyourheart.blogspot.com/2008/03/year-2008.html

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:34:00 PM): ahaha
SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:34:09 PM): storyahi nlng ko ana jun2

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:34:11 PM): ^^

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:34:20 PM): ayaw

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:34:23 PM): lingaw man 2

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:34:47 PM): hehe

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:34:53 PM): online man lge ka?

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:37:00 PM): wla lng, isa ka oras lng ko kai m2log ko unya

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:37:25 PM): naa mn lng ko blay krun

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:37:54 PM): aw

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:37:57 PM): ngdula ka noh?

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:38:27 PM): wla oi, chat lng

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:38:38 PM): ow?

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:38:41 PM): chka2

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:38:43 PM): hehe

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:39:32 PM): yup

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:39:39 PM): unya pko mgdula or dli cguro

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:39:40 PM): hehehe

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:39:45 PM): asa diay ka ka run??

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:39:59 PM): naa sa ofis

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:40:07 PM): murag hul day na ngnet

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:40:08 PM): hehe

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:40:16 PM): gnina lng man ko online day

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:40:17 PM): wah!

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:41:03 PM): oist!

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:41:08 PM): unsa mn ni xa??

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:41:25 PM): lingaw noh?

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:41:27 PM): hehe

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:41:38 PM): pgbuhat ug blog day

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:41:48 PM): kpoi hmo

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:41:53 PM): dli ko kblo

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:41:54 PM): hehehe

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:42:07 PM): mura mn kag mumu aning pic nmu dri jun2

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:42:36 PM): wah!

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:42:45 PM): cute ko dra ui..

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:42:48 PM): hehe

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:42:52 PM): tanga2

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:42:54 PM): tsk3

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:43:13 PM): lol...cute ang pantabon

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:43:16 PM): hahaha

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:43:28 PM): hmmmph

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:43:34 PM): malong man na day

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:43:40 PM): ahaha...

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:43:40 PM): gni

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:43:43 PM): cute ang malong

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:43:48 PM): ayyy

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:43:51 PM): kalain

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:43:52 PM): hehehe

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:44:12 PM): basa skong blog tpos leave a comment daun

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:50:51 PM): yup

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:50:57 PM): asa man imong pic?

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:51:01 PM): pgsend

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:51:06 PM): hehe

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:51:10 PM): kani oh

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:51:13 PM): :0

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:51:16 PM): hehehe

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:51:21 PM): toinkz

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:51:24 PM): pangit

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:51:54 PM): hahaha

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:53:09 PM): k2

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:53:28 PM): kapoi mn

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:53:30 PM): hehe

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:53:35 PM): hmmmph

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:53:41 PM): unsa ma na ui

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:53:53 PM): mg.unsa nlng ka kung pirmi ka kapuyon?

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:53:55 PM): ahahaha

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:54:01 PM): m2log

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:54:05 PM): hehehe

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:54:21 PM): hatagi nlng ko ug massage pra mwla akong kpoi

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:54:23 PM): hahaha

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:54:27 PM): ahaha

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:54:35 PM): nya, moanha ko dha?

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:54:46 PM): xur ba

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:54:58 PM): skt kaau akong ulo

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:55:02 PM): kailngn ug hilot

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:55:02 PM): hehe

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:55:31 PM): ow?

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:55:33 PM): ahaha

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:55:36 PM): asus

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:55:42 PM): inom tambal ui

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:56:08 PM): HAHAHA

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:56:27 PM): ngkatawa ko skong isa ka chat

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:56:29 PM): luoy au

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:56:42 PM): wa daw xa ksbot skong blog ky english

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:56:45 PM): tsk3

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:56:46 PM): hehehe

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:56:52 PM): y man??

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:56:58 PM): if he only knew

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:57:07 PM): pgmbasa 2 nia

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:57:09 PM): if he only knew wat??

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:57:12 PM): aw

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:57:24 PM): book of life man 2 nko

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:57:29 PM): murag diary ba

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:57:33 PM): ah....

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:57:38 PM): nd,

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:57:42 PM): mas mailhan ko nia

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:57:51 PM): dli nlng nko basahon kay diary mn kaha na nimo

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:58:00 PM): tangek

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:58:02 PM): yeah

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:58:15 PM): pero dili man toh restricted

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:58:21 PM): gsulat 2 nko

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:58:31 PM): just 2 express how i feel

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:58:32 PM): hehe

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:58:50 PM): mas malipay man ko pag.isulat kesa istory

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:59:11 PM): hehehe]

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:59:20 PM): o db..

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:59:26 PM): bsaha

hannah s. (4/1/2008 1:59:41 PM): para dili pud sayang akong effort na ipublish tru net

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 1:59:58 PM): aw

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:00:21 PM): dli mn ma sayang kai naa mn ni basa

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:00:21 PM): dli lng nko basahon

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:00:52 PM): ngano man?

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:00:58 PM): murag tangek ui

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:01:08 PM): kaya gni gnaingnan tka

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:01:17 PM): ky gusto nko mobasa pod ka

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:01:18 PM): naku

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:02:21 PM): hehehe

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:02:24 PM): pass lng sa ko

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:02:34 PM): y lge?

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:03:03 PM): wen d ryt time comes dd2 na nko basahon

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:03:06 PM): hehehe

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:03:10 PM): asus

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:03:12 PM): haha

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:03:29 PM): nganong naa pa mn ky paryttym2

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:03:33 PM): awts

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:03:39 PM): give me valid reasons

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:03:45 PM): intawon

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:03:49 PM): mobasa lng ka

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:03:54 PM): way mwala saimo

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:03:56 PM): hehe

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:04:17 PM): hmmm....i have my reasons

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:04:37 PM): den wat are ur reasons?

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:05:05 PM): it is 4 me 2 know nd 4 u 2 find out

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:05:09 PM): hehehe

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:05:57 PM): oist!!!

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:06:07 PM): ngek?

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:06:09 PM): gnun?

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:06:18 PM): still im not convinced

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:06:19 PM): opo

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:06:33 PM): i know....hehehe

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:06:33 PM): gnapaicp lng ko nimo dah

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:06:42 PM): unsa jud imong rason

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:06:50 PM): hmmm

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:06:56 PM): give me a clue

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:07:34 PM): hehehe....gs2 jud niya mahibal.an dah

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:07:46 PM): alangan

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:07:48 PM): noh?

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:07:53 PM): just wondrin

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:07:58 PM): para mobasa lng

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:08:00 PM): ahaha

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:08:32 PM): hehehe...its confidential

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:08:39 PM): hahaha

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:08:39 PM): joke

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:08:40 PM): aw

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:08:56 PM): i wonder wat makes it "confidential"?

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:08:58 PM): ahaha

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:10:54 PM): meaning, only authorize persons r allowed to know

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:10:58 PM): hehe

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:11:10 PM): nd im not authorized?

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:11:12 PM): hehe

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:11:21 PM): a clue

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:11:22 PM): a clue

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:11:36 PM): hehehe

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:11:47 PM): ok2

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:11:53 PM): unsa?

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:12:22 PM): naa mn gud koi nabasahan sa isa ka buk abwt ani

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:12:52 PM): unya... unsa daw?

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:12:55 PM): tell me

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:12:56 PM): hehe

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:14:02 PM): na if u open up 2 a person, its like letting ur enemies enter into ur life

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:14:31 PM): ur not my enemy mn

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:14:35 PM): conect2

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:14:37 PM): whch means dey wud know ur secrets and ur weaknesses and later use it on u

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:14:48 PM): no

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:14:54 PM): its not like dat

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:15:10 PM): mas nice man ng mkblo cla skong gbati

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:15:29 PM): hmmm...u have a point

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:15:52 PM): sumtyms man gud iba akong gnapkta skong gbati jud

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:17:02 PM): if thats d case....cge basahon nko

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:17:08 PM): ^^

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:17:17 PM): wah!

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:17:21 PM): salamat

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:17:27 PM): naconvince ra jud

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:17:29 PM): hehe

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:17:36 PM): hehehe

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:17:44 PM): pro k2gon nmn ko

SIR KNIGHT (4/1/2008 2:17:51 PM): 2log sa ko

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:17:52 PM): wah

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:17:55 PM): kaw jud

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:17:57 PM): bah

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:18:00 PM): tsk3

hannah s. (4/1/2008 2:18:08 PM): hmmmmmmmm

I really had a hard time convincing SIR KNIGHT to read my blog.. well.. at least he really did!

But still I am not convinced with the reasons SIR KNIGHT..sorry.. :p

Year 2008!

2008-03-31T20:43:00.000-07:00

I am just wondrin, this year seems to be “my first” year. 2008, was full of surprises and never-ending breath taking experiences. What I mean is... this is the year when I had my first BF, first love, first heartbreak, first cry and the worst? first grade w/ a line of 7. Yup! It is my first time to have that kind of grade. Ha-ha… Hard for me to accept the truth. Well, I have to experience this kind of thing… for me to be stronger, I believe.

I have plans and it took me a long self-convincing power to realize everything. It is time for me to fix this mess… time to wake up from a deep sleep.

Next semester, I am not part of the BSA program anymore. Welcome to the BS in Commerce Program! Less stress…less pressure… but I have to work and prove to everyone that even though I cannot be a BSA graduate, at least I am a competitive BSC-MA graduate.

My target is to have a grade at least 88 above and the WPA should be 93 in order for me to reach the SECOND HONOR spot. And, after my graduation (in 2010), I will go to Manila to take a review for the CMA (Certified Management Accountant) Board Exam. If I will be fortunate enough to pass the board exam, I can proceed to some Masteral Courses, find a job which best suits to my chosen profession. Career pathing noh? Aw, of course I have to. Because I strongly believe a person will truly succeed through his/her great perseverance and hard work. Success does not only depend to what course you belong today.

A sad reality...

2008-03-31T20:17:00.000-07:00

End of the first semester… and as we all know, the students are now busy of getting the results of their final grades. Whooh! Mine is really crucial. I guess it will be a make or break of my future career. Though it hurts, but I am willing to accept the fact that I might have a failing grade (well, at least not as low as the passing grade 75). But for sure, a grade which could possibly let me out of the BSA program and force to shift w/ another course. Yeah, it is difficult and perhaps, it is one of the saddest moments in my life. And you know what’s painful? It is when, I myself know that I am capable of passing and make it to the cut-off grade and yet because of something, everything just pop-out like a bubble. I don’t know what to do because for sure my parents will get mad at me and 100% sure I will get mad at myself. I admit I am quite pretending that if ever I will fail, it will be okay.

Nope… I am wrong. I know I am just trying to fool myself, just trying to fool everyone around me. In reality it’s a double murder to my part. I am not yet done w/ what had happened to me last holy week and here comes another heart breaking experience which make it harder for me to breathe again. Tsk3

Not thinking after All...

2008-03-31T00:20:00.000-07:00

It was a night in our first organization’s meeting when I hurriedly went home after my 7pm class in Physical Education. And after presiding the meeting, I encourage some of my peers to listen to the story I’ve just wrote last night.

He was there, listening to his Mp3 and lying on a flat surfaced bench. His presence didn’t stop me from reading my story. I was confident enough that he neither listens nor cares about what I was doing.

With low and modulated voice, I read the story to my peers without them to notice that it was my own true to life story. Every word that comes out from my mouth seems to be a thorn which is pulled out from my heart and it felt amazing to my part.

I was happy that night…happy because at last! I’ve poured out how I felt. Aside from that, it made me feel proud…it made me feel that I am now a real writer.

Flashing a smile in my face, I decided to call up his attention to say that I wanted to go home. Looking at him, I noticed he was asleep. (Sigh) He really didn’t care to listen. Thank God!

He walked with me on my way home. We’ve talked about many things that night and I was really smiling then. Smiling because here we go again, talking happy moments with each other and all of my worries will vanish.

I was holding a big book at that moment when he took it away from me which didn’t bother me that much. He was scanning some of its pages as if he was looking for something. Yeah! I was right. He was looking for my notebook in which I wrote my written story. I just smiled because I let my best friend borrow it for her to read the story. It made me feel safe because hooray! He can never read the story… he can never know what I was feeling.

My smile fades away when I hear him saying “You don’t have to hide what you’ve wrote because I’ve heard everything… every words you’ve used.”

Oh no!

Every trace of smile in my face seems to be erased…every thoughts of being a real writer vanishes. I was a dope! How can he hear me if he’s listening music in his mp3? I was not thinking after all. I never thought of the possibility that he might be pretending.
It was totally a disaster. I don’t know if I’ll laugh at myself or get worried because he might not understand me which will definitely lead to misinterpretations of the story.

But I guess it was the perfect time to tell him how I really felt… I believe…

No I was wrong. If it was the perfect time then why I can’t seem to talk? It was as if I am a mute. I run out of words to explain everything or do I owe him an explanation?

Silence is in the air and now I’ve realized that even silence can break your ear drums.

killing me softy

2008-03-31T00:17:00.000-07:00

I really don’t know how to react on the things happening to my world. Although I am his girlfriend and I should have build trust around this relationship but still I can’t avoid this burning feeling deep inside me.

When he wrote something about that girl, I remained silent and didn’t react on it because all I was thinking is… it’s just his way of promoting and inviting his peers to leave a comment in his blog. For almost a hundred times, I’ve read the article, and unknowingly every time I read it, insecurity seems to grow. I hate the feeling because in my entire life I’ve really never felt this way.

“She speaks very well, she writes very well, she thinks very well and all the wells that you could ever imagine.” Those were the words he used to describe that girl. Based on the article and basing on the sentence alone that girl must be and undeniably amazing.

Every day I didn’t notice that I was looking forward to surf the net just to check who will leave a comment in his featured article and reading through the comments, his friends and schoolmates were teasing them together.

Curiously, I’ve learned to explore the content of his site without knowing that through clicking the mouse, I’ll reach the girl’s blog. Yes, he is right, the girl really writes well. In fact, I had a great time reading her articles. It was like reading a piece of chapter in her life.

But there was a certain article which caught up my attention. It was all about her first Valentine and birthday gift (Forevermore) this year. It states there that she had a friend who plays the piano for her at the backstage in the tune of “Forevermore”. She was grateful because they had the same favorite song and her friend fulfilled the dream of playing a grand piano.

My heart starts to beat fast because I know she was referring to my boyfriend.
I can’t forget one night my boyfriend told me that at last, he played a grand piano together with a friend which they both enjoy.
It felt like I was solving a jigsaw puzzle and I’ve realized that the “friend” he was referring to that night, was the girl he used to describe on his featured article.

My mouth was still mute. No words can come out, instead thoughts of many things is running through my brain. And every time I can think of something, it felt like it’s killing me softly. Maybe because they were schoolmates and I can’t hide the fact that there is possibility that they’ll cross their way, exchange smiles and greetings to each other. Of course I know that is just a normal way of having friends but not after that article… not after that post. I am pretty sure his schoolmates as well as his instructors were teasing them. Gahd! He is a certified blogger and not just that, he is one of the well-known students in their school.

At this point, I am afraid…afraid of losing the love of my life because I know his one way to stop the rumors is to join with the flow.

I don’t know what he’s feeling right now… what’s his real purpose and what factor urge him to write something about the girl.
I don’t know what’s really going on there… while I’m here… keeping my silence, sitting and writing something.

Thoughts about PRIDE...

2008-03-31T00:12:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we need to accept the fact that there were things which we need to sacrifice in order for us to grow with love and peace of mind.

Just like the word “PRIDE”. Of the entire attitude a person must possess, “PRIDE” is the most complicated one.

We often neglect HUMILITY for we let our pride dominates us.

FORGIVENESS is ignored; it is still because of the never ending PRIDE we have.

We believe we are hurt so we close our ears as if we are deaf, our eyes as if we are blind and sometimes we prefer to be silent; still because of pride.

We always think we are vindicated, that we are on the right-side not knowing that it is pride alone who squeezes and break our hearts into pieces.

Pride can shatter FRIENDSHIP, TRUST and even LOVE.

Sometimes we wanted to cry because we are hurt of the things happening to us but instead of crying, we tend to avert our emotions. There are times tears will really fall down from your face without noticing it… without any permission to yourself… it just fall silently.

And you know what, the saddest part is we can’t accept the fact that we are now crying. We tend to find so many other reasons to convince ourselves and even other people that it was not our intention to cry… that he/she was not the real reason why we cry. All of that is because of PRIDE.

If only we can forget about our pride, though it’s hard, hard as a stone on high mountains, then, we could possibly live a harmonious life together with our loved ones and to the people who are dearest and closest to our hearts.

Without pride, we learn to forgive… we learn to lend our ears and open up our eyes to someone we’ve closed our doors to. We’ll learn to be humble, to reach each others differences and accept the person for whom he/she really is.

PRIDE is nothing compared to LOVE.